The cloud that broke the camel's back.
June 2026, started like any other month. Winter had just begun here in Australia and I had many drawing nights ahead of me. Drawing in winter is such a treat, never having to worry about sweaty hands on fresh paper, smudging pencil pigment with said sweaty hands, and being able to rug up with a hot coffee and draw for hours with a good audiobook; in my professional opinion, there's nothing better.
So here I was at the start of June, I'd been working on the second piece TEMPEST of my ENTROPY trilogy since February 2026 and I could see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. I thought I had about four more weeks left of work, then I could begin the final piece in the series, VEIL. Little did I know that I was at the start of my most challenging month creatively this year, and not dramatically, probably my entire art career. I promise, not dramatic at all!
So to put this miserable tale in context for you dear reader, I must explain a little of my process to you. I use a very light hand to apply layers upon layers of coloured pencil on heavy textured art paper. Generally I complete each section of a drawing to about 90% before moving onto the next, filling in that final 10% at the end of a drawing. TEMPEST at the start of June, oh boy. Already I could see it was the best work I'd completed (or not completed) to date. I had one final section to do, and then I could go back and make tweaks before scribbling my name on the bottom and calling it a day. I estimated being done by month-end. VEIL to commence July, and completing the trilogy by the end of 2026. Everything looked to me like it was wrapped up in a neat little Entropy package.
Working on this final section (the cloud, OH THE CLOUD!), I made an error in judgement and overcommitted to a dark value. Usually I'm super hesitant to introduce darker tones because they are difficult to correct if there’s a mistake. I tried to work darker values around it to make it better. It didn't. I decided to erase that particular area of the cloud and rework it. Now here's where the heavy paper and the many layers is relevant. The paper accepts the pigment and is almost stained by the colour. So yes the layers come away but there's still a slight hue to the paper. No matter, we continue.
Then we have the problem of the paper tooth. The surface texture/tooth that has been drawn on is more compressed than fresh paper, so it accepts the new layers of pigment a little differently, resulting in a somewhat speckled effect that shows through only in the repaired area. Don't get me wrong, the area that I'd repaired was passable and the cloud overall looked okay. But I could still see this little speckled puff of cloud. It was taunting me.
So then I decided to whip out my trusty (or not) solvents, to try and soften and blend out (hopefully) the speckled area, and Bob's your uncle. SPOILER ALERT: Bob was, in fact, not my uncle. An hour into my solvent experiment, I was looking at Mr Bean's "Whistler's Mother" in cloud form. The speckled puff was now a swirly mess. Thankfully for heavy art paper it can take a beating, but the puff was now standing out more than ever. I finally had to bite the bullet, and decided to erase the entire cloud, with the reasoning that at least if this speckled, compressed texture was unavoidable, the entire cloud would carry it and there wouldn't just be one area of speckle standing out from the rest.
So with the most gut-wrenching feeling, I erased two weeks of work that I'd put into this cloud. That night I couldn't sleep because of how frustrated I felt. The next night it was business as usual and I set to work at the desk on cloud V2. Working in such light layers means that it takes several nights of work for sections to progress before seeing if an area is working. So for two weeks I worked every night on the new cloud, slowly adding layers to V2. Now don't get me wrong, I could still see the speckled effect, now distributed across the entire new cloud, but the question I was trying to answer was if the whole cloud would look wrong once it was completed with this effect consistent through the whole section?
I got to the end of cloud V2. TEMPEST was technically complete with 10% left of tweaks over the entire piece. Let me say, it did not look awful. But. It was just a pass for me. I felt like I had pushed myself technically through the whole piece, pushing the boundaries in each section of my ability, and the cloud just seemed anticlimactic to me. It was an average end to a piece that I was so so proud of. So I sat on the idea for a few days. But the seed that had been planted at the foot of Whistler's Mother's chair was growing and I couldn't ignore it anymore. I knew deep down, I needed to start again.
Not the section.
Not the cloud.
The entire thing.
I had known it from the minute I'd put the dark value down, but I'd wasted a month now on trying to repair something that I knew ultimately I would never be proud of, knowing how much I could have gotten out of this piece if I had pulled it off the way I'd imagined. And whilst the feeling made me so miserable and quite a bit mad, five months of work down the drain, I realised that I was more attached emotionally to what I knew this piece could become than I was to the time I'd already invested into it.
So with the least amount of enthusiasm I've ever had when beginning a new piece, I untaped TEMPEST V1 from the drawing board and taped a fresh piece of paper up. And thus, TEMPEST V2 was born.
Yeah, June wasn't my favourite, to say the least.
R
PS. It's July now and TV2 is going wonderfully, you'll be glad to know we are getting along for the moment, AND I'm glad I restarted. The lessons are not always easy ones.
Destruction in progress…
